Sora vs the 7Up Machine II
by da marshmallow
Summary: “Star Wars” parody, “Sora vs. the 7Up Machine” style! Btw: this is the sequel, BUT you don't have to read the original to understand most of it. It takes place in a galaxy not too far away and in a time not so long ago, so r & r but beware of Furbies!
1. Rescue the Chancellor

Hey hey readers! Welcome to the sequel! For those of you who are new, you can find "Sora vs. the 7Up Machine" (which is what this fic is the sequel to…) on the profile of my sister, **blondie91**. You can easily get to her profile by going to my favorite authors list or you can go to the search thingy and type in blondie and scroll through those 'til you find **blondie91**.

FYI: "Sora vs. the 7Up Machine" and its sequel don't have much in common plot wise, but what they do have in common are the characters.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter of:

_**Sora vs. the 7Up Machine II**_

**Prologue**

"In a galaxy not so far away and during a time not so long ago…"

_"Pandora, don't open that box!" _

"Not that far..."

_"No taxation without representation!" _

"Sooner than that…"

_"It was a time when brother fought against brother. A time when--" _

"Getting warmer…"

_"2006?"_

"That's more like it! Now as I was saying…In a galaxy not so far away and during a time not so long ago-…"

_"Can I go to the bathroom?" _

"No, let me finish! Hmph, in a galaxy not so far away and during a time not so long ago, a war was going on between the Sith and the Jedis.

General Ronald McDonald had once again come out of hiding, and captured Chancellor Ansem as his hostage. The number of clones increased bringing the population of Furbies and Heartless to its peak. In other news the 7Up machine droids are also in mass production. Will the good guys prevail…or will the Sith win with the power of killer 7Up machines?

**Chapter 1: Rescue the Chancellor**

"Aflac…Aflac…" A small white duck ambled over the hard metal ground in a gigantic ship's docking bay. Two brightly colored gummi ships suddenly came crashing into the landing area and the sound of screeching metal was heard as it slid over the floor. The duck began running in slow motion as the twin ships careened forward in a shower of sparks.

"AFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!" Just before the ships made impact with the duck, they suddenly came to an abrupt and screeching halt. A tall and slender figure hopped out of each ship. The duck walked around in a dizzying circle and suddenly fainted from pure shock.

"Despite all this, I have good news!" exclaimed the silver haired Riku Skywalker to Jedi Master, Sora Kenobi.

"Uh…what?"

"Before we left, I saved fifteen percent on gummi ship insurance by switching to Geico!" A violent shaking erupted within the ship, before Sora was able to comment. General Ronald McDonald appeared with Chancellor Ansem being towed by two 7Up machines.

"Well, well, well…we meet again, Jedi."

"Did we ever meet before?" asked Riku as he fumbled around his belt for his light saber stick.

"I think so-…wait a minute…maybe it was a different pair of Jedi…Hmm… Oh well, it doesn't matter! I'm gonna kill you anyway!" He had failed to notice Sora sneaking around behind him with his blue light saber drawn, but dodged just in time as the blade swung downwards. As Ronald drew his blood red light saber, Riku pulled out his saber stick and pressed the "on" button. However, nothing happened, other than the mere flash of a spark.

"Not now!" exclaimed the aggravated teen. He tried again, and again…and again, but to no avail. While Sora and Ronald fought, he desperately banged his weapon the ground trying to get it to work. While doing so, he somehow disabled the soda machines and freed Ansem from their thirst-quenching clutches.

"Thanks…" said the political man. His long white hair was in a bit of a mess over his tan skin, but other than his bad hair day…he was okay. Riku had temporarily forgotten about the fight between the General and the Jedi Master and abruptly resumed to banging his saber stick repeatedly on the ground to make it kick in.

The fight went to a temporary stand-still as Sora faced his foe; poised to attack with his light saber.

"Do you really think I'm afraid of you?" asked Ronald.

"I don't just think it…I know it for a fact. You wear your fears on your sleeves, McDonald," said Sora with a smirk planted on his face.

"Wha-?" Ronald looked over at his sleeves, and sure enough, there was a piece of paper with a list of his fears stuck to his right sleeve. At the top of the list was Sora Kenobi, followed by Teletubbies, sunlight, and frowns.

"How in the world did that get there!" he ripped it off and the fighting continued as he lunged forward with his blood red light saber.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! _Riku continued hitting his saber stick against the floor and the walls.

His ship-repairing, robotic Moogle came up along side him.

"Can you help me fix this, Mr. Moogle?" The robots head moved up and down as it grabbed the saber stick. It proceeded to break it in half on his knee… "What the heck? You just broke it!" Mr. Moogle smiled reassuringly, and turned away from Riku. Within the next ten seconds it adjusted some thingamajigs, cut some wires here and there, and finally pieced it all back together. A beep was emitted from the robot's mouth as it handed the light saber stick back to its owner.

"Uh…thanks?" He wasn't quite sure what to think about it, and proceeded to press the "on" button. At first it looked like the repair had been successful, but instead of a blue light saber emerging, a blue candy cane did.

"Mr. Moogle…?" The tiny robot took the giant candy cane off, ate it, and Riku's weapon appeared in its stead. The Jedi apprentice ran to join the battle just as Ronald was running off to an escape pod. The hyperspace craft was being rocked with explosions.

"So long, suckers!" exclaimed the somewhat deranged clown.

"Stupid light saber…" mumbled Riku. "I missed all the action…"

"We better get outta here too!" exclaimed Sora as his light saber disappeared back into the stick. He took off with a sprint. A grumbling Riku fell in behind along with his robotic Moogle. Their feet pounded on the metallic ground, and 7Up machines came rushing into the docking bay. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as cans blasted through the air and flames burst into the landing bay from a shattering explosion.

The last escape pod was all theirs…well it would've been if a mob of evil Furby clones hadn't all charged into it and taken off at the last moment. Their maniacal laughter echoed through hyperspace as they flew into the open arms of safety.

"I'd say that's not good," said Sora. "We've gotta find another exit!" The trio of two humans and a robot ran to one of the gummi ships.

Riku examined it as they hopped in, "I think it's still functional, but we'll see…" He turned the key in the ignition and the sound of a growling engine greeted him. "Will something please work for me for once today!" he pleaded. He turned the key once more and the engine rumbled to life. They blasted off just as the giant mother ship was engulfed in flames, and headed to Twilight Town.

Riku looked around the cramped interior of the gummi ship, and a strange feeling came over him. He felt like something was missing…or someone.

"Uh…Sora…Where's the Chancellor?

XxXxXxXxXxXx  
I'm very sorry it took so long for me to get it out, but the inspiration kept getting sucked out of me. grumbles stupid annoying invisible inspiration sucking vacuum…

Anywhoo…I'd really appreciate a review from you! So on your way out please don't forget to hit that bluish color button and **REVIEW**! No flames please, BUT constructive criticism is WELCOME. I'll even be happy with a 1 word review if that's all you feel like puttin'. (Ex. Awesome, good, okay, bad, uh…even ugly would work too…heh, but I hope it's not that bad…laughs nervously) Also if you have any questions then feel free to ask me and I'll get back to you.  
I have about half of chapter 2 written, but I will be at church camp all this week so I'll try to get the next update out ASAP which will hopefully be within the week after camp.

Welpers, until next chapter!  
God bless y'all and Jesus loves ya: )

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Aflac, Geico, McDonalds (and associated clown…), Star Wars, Furbies, 7Up, wherever Moogles are from, Teletubbies, and anything else I forgot to mention that I obviously don't own.


	2. Kairi's Turning Into a

Hey once again! I'm sorry it took a bit longer than I had originally planned to get this out, but here it is.

**Chapter 2: Kairi's Turning Into a…**

"I'm right here you bumbling idi-! Err… I mean I'm present and very thankful to you for rescuing me," said Ansem as he peeked out from behind the twin seats.

Sora and Riku both sighed in relief.

"Ummm…sorry about the whole 'forgetting you thing'…" apologized Sora. The rest of the trip passed in silence and then they landed in Twilight Town with the battered gummi ship.

A small cluster of people gathered at their arrival, including a couple of the other Jedi Masters, a few Senators, and Kairi. They were greeted with enthusiasm and everyone was relieved that the Jedi warriors had been successful, although Sora and Riku neglected to tell them about the incident where they had failed to remember the Chancellor even though the whole reason they traveled through hyperspace in the first place was to rescue him…

Anyway, the group moved onward locked in animate conversation, leaving Riku and Kairi alone together. Somehow the background changed to a meadow, and flowers flew around everywhere as they raced towards each other. Heart felt music began playing as well. As they neared each other, young love was visible in their eyes and they picked up their pace.

The sound of a broken record was heard as Riku tripped, and the magical scene disintegrated; leaving hard concrete for him to fall on.

"Ow!" he exclaimed as he landed with a loud thud. Kairi rushed to his side and knelt down by him.

"That was graceful…" she said jokingly. "Are you okay?"

Riku pushed himself up with a throbbing ache surging over his body.

"Yeah, I'll be okay…I think," he said as he grinned.

"Did everything go okay on your mission?" she inquired.

"Uh…pretty much…yeah."

"'Pretty much' doesn't mean yes," she pointed out.

"Let's just say it went perfectly except for the fact McDonald is still out there…heh…" he said nervously, hoping she wouldn't push for more details.

They continued talking and had a lengthy conversation that lasted until the sun dropped like a rock beneath the horizon.

"Well, we better get some sleep. Good night, Riku!" she smiled as she began to walk off.

"'Night Kairi." Riku headed to his room and when he arrived he found a group of five Furbies playing poker on the bed that had been prepared for him.

"Uh…what are you doing in my room?"

"What does it look like we're doing, Bub?"

"It looks like you're trespassing in my room."

"And your point…?"

"Will you please get out?"

"No."

Riku sighed and walked over to the nightstand. "Eye of the Tiger" began playing as he reached into a basket that had been set out for him, and pulled out a cup of Starbucks coffee.

The Furbies on the bed paused their game of cards and began singing, "Riku…Riku, Riku, Riku…Riku, Riku, Riku…"

Then a spotlight formed and a brown spotted Furby went solo, "Riku's the dude goin' to Jedi School! He's got his broken light saber and a cup of coffee! He knows one day he will become…a Jedi Master!" His "prize-winning" performance received a weak applause as cards fluttered around him. Riku's eyebrows raised as he put the cup aside and continued to rummage through the basket. The Furbies began playing 52 Card Pick-Up. His hands pulled out a bottle of Herbal Essence shampoo and suddenly the Furbies halted their game and looked at him as bubbles began pouring down from the ceiling.

A Furby with white hair/fur began singing as the other Furbies echoed, "He'll be in the shower, for another half an hour! He's got the urge; natural something that starts with a p! He's got the urge to Herbal!" Somehow during that time Riku had been set up on a chair as a Furby washed his hair with Herbal Essence before he was completely aware of what was going on.

"STOP IT!" He leaped up from the chair, and his hair instantly dried. "Is this some kind of joke? Why do you keep breaking out into song?" Empty gazes and the sound of crickets chirping made up the reply he received.

Riku sighed began looking through the basket again. He randomly grabbed something and pulled it up. It just so happened to be some 7Up scented cologne.

A brown spotted Furby with a fake cigar in its mouth spoke up, "I wouldn't use that if I were you…"

"Is there a reason?"

"Don't you know what TAG branded cologne causes to happen?"

"No…why?"

"Well, when you spray the normal stuff you will find yourself tackled by human females."

"Is that really so bad?"

"BUT 7Up scented TAG causes something slightly different to happen…"

"And I should listen to you because…?"

"You've been warned." The Furby turned away from Riku and refocused on a new game of cards. "Got any 3s?" The Jedi apprentice shrugged his shoulders and sprayed himself with the sweet smelling cologne. He stood there for a few minutes, waiting to see if anything bad would happen. However, nothing did and he began to move towards the single long window located in the room.

Suddenly from out of no where, fifty female Furbies leaped on him and tackled him to the ground. As he fell his head was bashed against the nightstand.

Before his mind sank into unconsciousness, he heard the card playing Furbies all exclaim, "You were warned!"

_At least they didn't break out into song…_

At first his dreams consisted of random things like penguins and McDonalds, but then Kairi made an appearance. She smiled sweetly at him, and he waved back as he began to stroll towards her. Slowly she began to morph into something that was definitely not Kairi. Finally, she became a-…

"Riku…Riku, wake up!" Sora's voice echoed through his mind.

"Huh?" Riku's eyes fluttered open. The weight of the Furbies was no longer there and he lay in his bed. "What happened?"

"That's a good question that you're gonna have to answer yourself. Anyway, there's a meeting with the Jedi Council in about ten minutes so you might wanna get ready. I'll see you then." Riku groggily hopped out of bed and noticed the pleasant sunlight that streamed in through the windows. He fixed his hair and then headed out the door.

Once he arrived in the circular room he took a seat on a bean bag next to a lava lamp.

"Ah…Riku, nice of you to join us; it is," greeted the old Jedi Master, Oompa Loompa. He was also greeted by the other Jedi Masters: Cloud, Selphie, Aerith, and Leon.

"Yeah, uh…hey!" exclaimed Riku.

Suddenly, "Mission Impossible" music began blaring throughout the room, and a penguin dressed in a brown trench coat dropped in on a bungee-cord rope. He plopped down onto a tye-dye bean bag and proceeded to shield his eyes with sun glasses and take out a notepad and pen. For some reason, no one really seemed to pay him much attention; well, except for Riku and Sora.

"Uh…shouldn't we kick the bird out?" asked Riku.

He received shrugs from everyone in the room.

Sora broke the silence, "Does anyone in here know the whereabouts of McDonald?" The penguin raised its hand but suddenly a ceiling tile opened up and another penguin slid down, pushed the penguin's wing down, and then ascended back into the ceiling.

"He's at Hollow Bastion…well, that's at least where there's a big neon sign that says he's there and it's also the home of Furby HQ," said Cloud. Sora glanced at the penguin, who was in fact sitting next to him, to find that the bird was vigorously taking notes of some sort. He tried to see more but the penguin caught a glimpse of the Jedi Master's wandering eyes and moved his wing to cover the page he was working on. Sora shrugged and turned his eyes back towards the meeting.

"I'll go," volunteered Sora. "And Riku could come to."

"All right then. That's perfectly fine with me. Does anyone disagree?" asked Selphie. Crickets chirped in the background and a dust ball rolled across the room as shootout music whistled through the air.

"Settled, it is. Sora Kenobi and Riku Skywalker, go you will," said Oompa Loompa in his Yoda-style speech. "Dismissed, this meeting is." Everyone exited the room with the exception of Riku and Yoda.

"Troubled you feel?"

"Yes…I've been having this dream lately, and it's about Kairi turning into a…"

XXXXXXXXXXXX  
WAIT! Before you (meaning SoraxKairi fans &/or anti-RikuxKairi peeps) grab your torches and pitchforks because of the slight RikuxKairi thing goin' on, please hear me out! The only reason that it's that pairing is cuz it fits better. What you saw in this chapter is probably as "romantic" as it's gonna get and MAYBE (it's a big maybe…) there might be a hug.

Anywhoo…This chapter is more of a filler/get-from-one-thing-to-another chapter, so it's definitely not gonna be the best out of the entire fic.

Thank you reviewers: ) I really appreciate y'all! Everyone please drop off a review for this chapter on your way out: ) Hopefully, I'll have an update ready within no more than a week.

God bless you and Jesus loves you!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, McDonalds, Furbies, Starbucks, "Eye of the Tiger" (whoever that's by owns it…), Herbal Essence and the lil song thing, TAG cologne, Oompa Loompas, the 'forgetting you thing' which is based off of a phrase from the "Cave of Cheesebwogers" (I think that's how you spell it…), and anything else I obviously don't own that I forgot to mention.


	3. On the Road Again

**Chapter 3: On the Road Again…**

"Wait! First I must tell you that great fear, I sense in you," stated Oompa Loompa.

"Really?" asked Riku.

"A great deal of Furby phobia in you, there is. Quell that fear; you must, if you want to remain a strong Jedi."

"But how did you-?"

Instead of answering the question the Jedi Master interrupted and said, "Prepare now for your journey, you must. Remember to fight your fear." Oompa Loompa walked off leaving Riku in solitude. He shrugged his shoulders as he left the room to get ready for the journey into hyperspace.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Meanwhile, in Furby Headquarters on Hollow Bastion…

Ronald McDonald angrily berated the penguin spy he had sent to Twilight Town.

"I send you to take notes on their plans and this…THIS is what you bring me!" He was referring to the notes the penguin had taken. Well, actually it was more of a page covered with doodles and an in-depth drawing of Riku's head. Suddenly, the clown's demeanor changed to a calm and pacified look.

"No matter…that will not stop us from taking over the universe, especially not with our new addition to the army." A group of Furbies stood at the side with the Heartless insignia on their broad stomachs.

A holographic image appeared of a hooded man and he began speaking, "McDonald, Riku and Sora are heading your way soon. Whatever you do, don't kill Riku…yet. Oh, and be sure to pick up my dry cleaning!" The image was gone before Ronald had a chance to respond.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Riku walked by a room that had a deep male voice come from within saying something about picking up his dry cleaning. He peeked through the opened door and saw the holographic image of Ronald McDonald for a brief instant before it disappeared. Chancellor Ansem removed the hood he was wearing and turned around to leave. His eyes widened for a brief instant when he saw Riku staring at him.

"Uh…hi Riku… It's not what you think! I wasn't ordering McDonald around and I am definitely not the Sith Lord you've been looking for the whole time!" Riku just looked at him a moment like he was crazy.

"Okay. Hi to you too…" His footsteps echoed down the hallway as he left. Ansem sighed in sweet relief as he continued with his diabolical scheming.

Riku wandered through the building, which didn't seem to have a specific name; well at least not to his knowledge, and searched for Sora. He figured that his Master would want to leave within the next 24 hours. The apprentice finally found Sora in a hangar. He stood in front of several multicolored gummi ships and turned when he heard Riku approach.

"Hey Riku. Can you be ready to go at five this afternoon?"

"No problemo. Any chance I could drive?"

"Uh…let me think for a moment…NO."

"Alrighty then. Which ship are we taking?"  
Sora's pointer finger moved through the air, passing by several of the most pristine ships and finally resting in the direction of a beat up old gummi ship that was a rusty shade of red and brown.

"It may look like a hunk of junk, but hopefully it will fly well."

"Hopefully? That sounds promising…"

"I didn't pick it. Anyway, I'll see you around. I have some minor tasks I need to accomplish before we take off." Sora headed to the exit, and suddenly tripped when his foot made contact with Mr. Moogle. Riku tried to hold back a snicker, but it slipped out.

"I heard that!" exclaimed Sora as he stood up and left the room. "Oh, and you might wanna get a light saber that works."

"'kay!" Riku walked over to Mr. Moogle and they exchanged hi-fives. He smiled at his robotic companion, who Sora was not the fondest of, and headed off to complete the next thing on his agenda. He figured he should probably visit Kairi for a good chunk of the day and set off in hopes that it wouldn't take long to locate her.

xxx

Sora strolled down a carpet padded hallway and finally turned into a room at the end of it. There he met with Selphie and Aerith. Leon, who was also a Jedi Master and hadn't been able to be there in time for the meeting earlier, was there as well.

"I still think this won't work…" he mumbled.

"It's worth a shot!" exclaimed Selphie.

"Yeah, we might as well try," said Aerith.

"What exactly are we trying?" inquired Sora.

"You'll find out soon enough," said Selphie as she donned some bulky headphones. She picked up a strange looking contraption that looked like an N64 controller. It was plugged into a tiny black box. "Follow me." It began making strange beeping noises and what looked like a joystick moved on its own in a certain direction.

"We're trying to locate the Sith Lord," explained Leon. "Several have had the suspicion that he walks among us." The noise coming from the machine increased in volume and became more frequent as they trekked down a corridor.

Suddenly, Ansem stepped out of a room and Selphie crashed into him. The beeping turned into a high pitched siren.

A robotic voice shouted, "Sith Lord…Sith Lord…Sith Lord!" and then as fate would have it, the machine exploded.

"Oh darn…" mumbled Aerith. "It malfunctioned. Sorry about that Chancellor."

His eyes were wide and he wiped a stray drop of sweat that had begun to slither down his face, "No problem. I'll just leave you to…uh…continue doing whatever it is that you were doing."

"Before you go, I'd like to ask you something," said Selphie. "Is there anyone you think has a mysterious background and could be a suspect for being the Sith Lord?"

Ansem hurriedly replied, "Nope, not at all. I gotta go, so talk to you later!"

"Bye Chancellor…" said Sora as the nervous man hastily power-walked away.

"I told you it wouldn't work," gloated Leon.

"It was worth a try!" argued Selphie.

"Yep, having a machine blow up on the Chancellor was SO worth trying to use that stupid hunk o' junk."

"Whatever…" mumbled Aerith.

"See ya later, peeps!" exclaimed Sora. He still needed to do a couple more things before it was time to depart so he left the group.

"Catchya later!"

At five o'clock sharp, Sora and Riku met in the ship's bay.

"Ready to rock 'n' roll?" asked Sora.

"Rock 'n' roll? You never told me to bring my guitar."

Sora hit his head on the gummi ship, "It's just an expression."

"Oh…heh…my bad." Sora hopped into the driver's side and Riku checked on Mr. Moogle before sliding into the passenger seat. However, he managed to hit his head as he was climbing in.

"Now that was smooth!" exclaimed Sora with a grin on his face.

"Whatever you say, Master…" said Riku teasingly as he rubbed the sore spot on his forehead.

"Don't call me Master," ordered Sora.

"Yes Master."

Sora sighed happily, "You dufus…"

"I try. Say…do you know where Donald and Goofy are? I didn't know they were on a mission."

"Uh…maybe."

"In other words: 'Don't ask.'?"

"You nailed it." Sora began the start-up procedures and soon they blasted off into hyperspace. The one hour trip passed pretty uneventfully, and soon they arrived at their destination; Hollow Bastion. The ship descended through the atmosphere and landed on a gummi ship landing pad in front of a sign that read, "You're not welcome to the Hollow SeBastion."

"That's different…" said Sora. Someone had apparently spray painted the "the" and the "Se" onto the sign. They both hopped out of the ship and looked around. "Seems peaceful enough." However, the peace was soon interrupted as 7Up machines sprang up from the ground on all sides of them.

"Time ta fight?" asked Riku. He retrieved his light saber stick from his belt and pressed the on button…nothing came out. "What the-? ERRR!" Sora drew his but it was shot out of his hand and retrieved by one of the machines.

"Come with us. We will take you to our master," said a robotic voice. The ground beneath them instantly began sinking as elevator music started to play. Sora and Riku stood amidst the killer machines with plans circulating through their brains.

2 hours later

The horrid elevator music was still playing when finally they reached the ground floor. The 7Up machines roughly grabbed each of them, hauled them down a short corridor, and threw them into a pure white cell where they were chained to the walls.

"Got any brilliant plans as to how to get out of this?" asked Riku.

"Actually…I do," stated Sora.

"And…?"

"I can walk through walls!"

"Whatever…"

"No, really I can!"

Riku sighed, and gave him an incredulous look.

"At least…I think I can. Maybe it was in a dream…"

xxxxxx  
Sorry; I was about 2 nights late from when I had intended to post…heh…but I don't think next chapter will take too long to write cuz I have a good idea of what I want to do. Thank you so much reviewers! I really appreciate y'all: ) Anywhoo…on your way out please don't forget to drop off a review! I'd really like to know what everyone thinks.

Welpers, God bless you and Jesus loves you: )

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, Aladdin and the Cave of Cheesebwogers, Ronald, Furbies, and anything else that I forgot to mention that I obviously don't own.


	4. News Report

Chapter 4: News Report

"Good evening Channel 100,200,725,534,777,123 viewers." Sandy Shore sat in the news desk on television. "Tonight we have a tragic story that involves none other than those Heartless Furbies… The video we have obtained was sent in by an _anonymous _person known as Chancellor Ansem, who unknown to anyone is the Sith Lord. Yoda man, roll the tape!"

"Oompa Loompa, it is!"

"Fine. Oompa Loompa…Yoda; same difference." Oompa Loompa came on screen and inserted a video tape into the VCR. Static reigned for a moment, but then a group of Furbies with the Heartless insignia on their chest came on screen. There was a baby with a lollipop nearby and one of them yanked it from its hands, which in turn caused the infant to cry in a high pitched wail. The Furbies, which were also completely black from head to toe, laughed mercilessly.

"Hehehehehehehehe-cough-hehe!" The Furbies eyed the cougher, who had interrupted their evil laugh.

"Oh, sorry about that. I have a cold!"

The organ music, that you usually find vampires and/or other evil people playing hunched over an organ keyboard, began to play as the Furbies moved onto their next victim. It was an old lady (who, as rumor had it, lived in a shoe). She was bent over and leaning on a cane as she walked down a sidewalk in the interior of Traverse Town.

The Furbies moved along the wall of a nearby building, blending in with the shadows. Silently they sneaked up behind the woman and made a tower of Furbies to reach into her purse. The Furby on top was the one who had the cough, and just as he clasped the wallet a sneeze blasted out from his nostrils. He pulled the wallet out just as the leaning tower of Furbies toppled and they all fell to the ground. The old woman turned to look at them and immediately began whacking the heck out of them with her cane as she retrieved her wallet.

"Get back ye varmints!"

"We're goin'! Ahhh! All righty, we're going!" The Furbies performed a hasty retreat to as far away as they could get.

"You just had to sneeze, didn't you?" inquired the head-honcho of the Heartless Furbies. "I'm tempted to give you back your heart and kick you out of the group.

"I'm sorry; I told you I have a cold!"

"Whatever…next victim!" They charged around the corner, and the scene soon switched to Sora and Riku eating McDonalds (not eating the actual building…) for lunch. The Furbies crouched like a lion hunting its prey and then snuck over to the table. They then hid themselves; some underneath the table and some even on top. The Furby with a cold hid in Sora's Big Mac.

"So anyway, did you hear that Willie Nelson got ran over by a car?" asked Sora.

"Uh…no. Are you serious? How'd it happen?"

"He was singing 'On the Road Again'."

Riku's shocked expression immediately faded and turned into a smirk, "You Dufus, you had me thinkin' my favorite singer was either injured or dead." Sora took a bite of his Big Mac and without knowing it, bit into the Furbies foot. He didn't taste it at first and tried to rip it away with the rest of the bite.

"OW!" The Furby immediately leaped out of the burger and the contents flew up into Sora's face as the creature made a hasty getaway.

"Our cover's been broken! Run!" Riku and Sora looked on the chaotic scene of Furbies running frantically away with surprised expressions on their faces. Before the Furbies had completely gone, however, one of them took Sora's change that lay on the table and then ran off with the others.

Sandy Shore once more came on the screen.

"Those Furbies truly are heartless… Anyway, that's about it for tonight's top story so tune in next time!"

XxXxXxXxXxX

Sora and Riku stared idly at the television screen that was in their cell.

"Ya know, I still wander who the Sith Lord is. I mean seriously; how can he evade detection for so long?" asked Riku.

"I've been thinkin' the same question… Oh well," said Sora. They'd only been in the cell for the duration of that 30 minute broadcast, but to them it seemed like at least a few hours. Finally the automatic-on-the-outside doors opened and two 7Up machines walked err…rolled, if you want to be technical, through. Immediately, they shot cans out at the two Jedi and knocked them into unconsciousness. They then proceeded to drag the bodies away.

When Sora and Riku woke up they were gazing at the image of Ronald McDonald.

"Welcome, Jedi. I see we meet again, and this time I'm sure I've met you before."

The Jedi hastily reached for their light saber sticks, but found that they had been taken away.

"Do you really think I'd be stupid enough you let you keep your light sabers?"

"Actually, yes," said Sora. "You've done it before."

"Erg…I hate to admit it, but you're right. Well, I'm not making the same mistakes I've made before, so anyway…"

"Does that mean you're gonna make different and newer mistakes?" asked Riku.

"Listen here, Mr. Smart Alec. If I wasn't ordered to leave you alive by Chancellor-err…I mean the Sith Lord then you would be dead by now. But as for you…Sora, you aren't as lucky. My boss didn't say anything about you. So prepare to-!"

"Die, right?"

"Don't interrupt me! I was actually gonna say 'eat more chicken'."

"Are you serious?"

"No, I was just kidding. Prepare to die!" Sora immediately rolled his groggy Jedi-self out of the way of McDonald's now pink light saber.

"Pink. That's different."

Ronald paused and looked at his light saber, "It must need a new battery." He suddenly realized that he had ceased his killing of Sora and suddenly swung downward once more. The Jedi Master dodged once again and rose to his feet as he looked around for a weapon. Hanging from the wall on the far side of the room were Riku's and his light saber sticks. He dived for them and was able to yank them off the wall, just as a stampede of Furbies rushed into the room.

"Boss…Boss! There's a monster under Fuzzy's bed again!"

Ronald's cheeks turned a slight shade of red, "Uh…can't you see I'm busy now?"

"But-but it's trying to EAT us!"

"Well, deal with it yourself! I have a Jedi to kill." The Furbies began shuffling their feet as they exited the room.

Sora and Riku both snickered as they rejoined each other and Sora gave Riku his light saber. Furby screams were heard in the background as battle music started playing softly.

"You're goin' down, clown," said Riku.

"Hey, you just rhymed!" exclaimed a spectator Furby that had hung around after the throng of Furbies had left.

"I did, didn't I?" The clown that was being referred to charged in their direction and lunged at Sora. However, before he was able to slash his light saber disintegrated.

"Oh darn. My batteries ran out. I knew I should've used Energizer!" The pounding of a drum filled their ears as a pink rabbit with sunglasses entered the room beating a bass drum. It went over to Ronald and handed him a pack of AA Energizer batteries.

"But I need AAA…" The bunny sighed in frustration and handed him a pack of 4 AAA batteries. "Uh…actually I need six." The animal once again sighed in agitation and pushed a pack of six AAA batteries at Ronald.

"Thanks!" As the rabbit began to walk off, it hit McDonald with every other hit of the drum when its paws were outstretched. "Ow!" Ronald backed away and the battery bunny exited.

"That guy really does keep going…and going…and going…" said Riku. Ronald dumped his old batteries out and quickly inserted the new ones. Within seconds a red light saber blade came out.

"Now where were we…?"

"I believe you were about to stab me," said Sora.

"Oh, right!" However, before he could take even a step a tall figure stepped into the room.

"Halt!"

"Is that the Sith Lord?" asked Riku. "No…never mind it's Chancellor Ansem! What are you doing here?"

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx  
**Now how was that chapter? If you didn't like it, I won't resent ye cuz you're honest; in fact I really like honest people : ). I'd really like to know what everyone really thought. Did y'all like that blast from the past with the news report thingy? Anywhoo…thank you so much reviewers! You guys are awesome: ) Everyone please don't forget to drop off a review and tell me your thoughts/opinions.

Oh, and b4 I forget here's some credit for Jupiter-Lighting. I wasn't originally going to use Furby Heartless (or Heartless Furbies), but instead Furbies AND Heartless. It's a good thing she came up with that, cuz plain Heartless are just...uh...line? Heh...

BTW: I'm going on vacation next week so I'll try to get an update out ASAP.

God bless you and Jesus loves ya: D

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, Energizer, McDonalds, Ronald, Furbies, On the Road Again (And it's pretty obvious that I don't own Willie Nelson…lol I would hope I didn't own him…), uh…and I also don't own anything that I forgot to mention which is obviously not mine.


	5. The Sith Lord

**Chapter 5: The Sith Lord**

Somehow a comfy couch had appeared along with a PS2 and a plasma screen television, and Riku and Ansem began playing some random game rated T for Teletubbies.

"So…Ansem…err…Chancellor, you never answered my question as to what you're doing here."

"Well, uh…how 'bout I answer that question in the morning. After we have some rest, shall we? You can stay up as late as you want and we'll meet when you awaken."

A random memory popped into Riku's head just then.

_Oompa Loompa sat in a bean bag chair with his legs crossed; meditating. An eleven year old Riku approached the orange midget man, and dropped down on his knees. _

_"Oh, great Master Yoda-err…I mean Oompa Loompa! May I please stay up late tonight, seeing how I have never gotten to stay up past my bedtime before?" _

_"Why does everyone always get my name mixed up with that Yoda character? Oh…uh, sure you can stay up if you want to. You'll probably fall asleep before midnight, but it's your choice." _

_With a triumphant grin plastered on his face, Riku grabbed his favorite comic book and plopped down on his bed with his back propped up against the wall. A couple hours later his eyes began to droop, and the page began to melt into a distorted image of…a 7Up can? He wasn't really sure and immediately snapped his eyes wide open. _

_"Must stay awake…" he muttered as he forced his eyes to hardly even blink. Within a few minutes his eyes began to lower once more. "Can't fall asleep before midnight…" He tried focusing on his comic book, but the words and pictures once again melded together, and the outline of a Furby formed from the jumble of lines. The Jedi Apprentice shook his head, but continued to drift on and off._

_His voice rose and fell; starting at a strong forte…ending in a sleepy mumble, "I…WILL…stay…awake. Must not…fall…asleep. Gotta prove Master…Yoda-err…Oompa Loompa wrong... So sleepy…" _

_Riku's eyes were duck taped open, and were sunken in and weary looking the next morning. A smile was also duck taped in place on his face and he stared at the comic book in front of him unblinking…just staring. A penguin agent suddenly dropped through the ceiling, being lowered on a rope. There was a thud as the plopped to the ground beside Riku's bed which was not exactly where he'd been meant to land. The penguin immediately jumped up, leaped on Riku, who was more a zombified shell at the moment, ripped off the duck tape, closed the comic book, and was tugged back up into the ceiling. However, it bang it's head on the ceiling tile over from it before it was completely out of sight and the missing ceiling tile was replaced. _

Riku had fallen asleep, and Ansem had annihilated him in the game. Sora and McDonald had picked up their fighting as Ansem hovered over the dreaming Jedi Apprentice, who had drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth.

"Riku…wakey wakey in the morning sun!" A Furby suddenly leaped off the floor and landed on Riku's stomach.

"Huh…wha-? I don't wanna go to school…" His snores echoed through the vast building.

Sora eyed him with a smirk, "And he claims that he's never snored in his life…"

Another Furby followed the first and plopped onto Riku's stomach.

"AH! Attack! Retreat, retreat!" Riku yelled unconsciously.

The Furbies sighed in exasperation and three more appeared who also jumped on Riku's stomach.

"OW!" Riku sat up with a start, knocking the Furbies back to the floor. "Wha-what'd I miss?"

Undeterred by the surprising change of events, the Furbies donned Superman outfits which appeared out of no where.

One said, "It's a bird!"

Another said, "It's a plane!"

And finally another exclaimed, "No…it's…!" They randomly broke into song right then and adorned themselves with Batman costumes.

"Na na na na na na na na Sith Lord!" They all proceeded to point at Ansem, who glared at them in return.

"It's too early!" moaned Riku.

Ronald jumped in, "Actually, you've only been asleep for five minutes!" He parried a thrust from Sora and maneuvered his light saber, trying to gain the upper hand against the Jedi Master.

"Oh…heh… Uh, what's with the the 'na nas'?"

"Do you not understand English?" a pink Furby shouted. "Ansem IS the Sith Lord! Do we have to put a flashing neon sign up over his head, so you'll get the message?" A flashing neon sign spontaneously appeared over Ansem's head.

It had three arrows pointing down and said, "Ansem IS the Sith Lord!"

Riku and Sora both gasped in shock.

Riku asked, "Y-you're the Sith Lord?"

"You finally figured it out… Well then, I guess I can just get on with my proposition then."

"What proposition?" inquired Sora.

"Not for you, for him. Why did you think I ordered Ronald not to kill Riku?"

"Good point."

"Oh, and Ronald…did you pick up my dry cleaning?"

"Uh oh…" muttered the clown. He suddenly pretended to stab himself with his light saber and fell to the ground. "You'll…have…to…go…on without…me…" In a dramatic enactment of a "dying" clown (That's something you don't see everyday…) Ronald fell to the floor writhing in fake agony, and then he breathed his "last."

"Aflac…Aflac…"

The spectators just looked on, unsure of what emotion to feel.

"AFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!" The Aflac duck sprinted across the room, stepping on Ronald as it maneuvered over it's path. A mob of Furbies screaming bloody murder chased after it.

"It's the Furby-eatin' cheese! RUN for your lives!" They cleared the room just as a Furby eating cheese walked in. He took a big bite, shrugged, and walked off slightly confused as to why everyone had run away.

"That was…weird…" said Sora.

Ronald suddenly leaped up and ran away to the gummi ship that he was going to use to go pick up Ansem's dry cleaning and yelled, "You haven't seen the last of me!" Then his voice switched tones so that he sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger, "I'll be back…" He disappeared, and now it was just Riku, Sora, and Ansem left. Well, give or take a few Furbies as well…

"So…what is this proposition you have for me?" asked Riku.

"Okay…first of all I have to ask… Do you like candy?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Good. Now, I want to request that you become my apprentice."

Riku's jaw dropped, and a super secret penguin agent suddenly popped up out of the floor and pushed it closed before disappearing once more.

"Nice try, Ansem. Riku would never join the dark side!" exclaimed Sora.

"Think about the benefits…free candy, 7Up, more free candy, Dr. Pepper, even more free candy…Oh, and I can help you stop Kairi from turning into a-."

Riku's eyes lit up, "What kind of candy?"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about Kairi?" asked Ansem.

"Oh, err…I mean…you can really help me stop Kairi from turning into a…?" A throng of Furbies rushed in and out of the room, drowning out Riku's voice.

"Yes, I can. All you have to do is join mwah!"

"Just one question though…where does this free candy cometh from?"

"I'm glad you asked. I receive my free candy supply from Stealing Candy From Babies Incorporated. They've been stealin' candy from babies since 1981."

"Just give me a moment to think…"

"Riku, you're not seriously going to-!" started Sora, but he suddenly fell through a trap door and his screams were heard until he landed with a thud at the bottom.

Riku pondered for a moment…_Free candy or no free candy? That is the question. What is the answer? _

"You know you just wanna save Kairi and get that free candy…" said Ansem in a sing-song voice.

Two shoulder angels appeared on Riku's shoulders. Well, it happened that they were actually two brown spotted Furbies that were lowered down from the ceiling on ropes. One was dressed as an angel and the other was dressed as a devil.

"Join the dark side…" whispered the devil Furby.

"No…do not join the dark side!" exclaimed the angel Furby.

"Join!"

"Don't!"

"Join!"

"Don't!"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Riku. "Why should I join the dark side?"

The devil smirked, "Cuz you get free candy and can save Kairi."

"How do you know that I can't save Kairi by bein' on the good side?"

"Reason number one…cuz bein' bad is totally rad."

"That was the lamest thing I've ever heard," stated Riku.

"Reason number two…look what I can do!" The devil Furby flipped over and did a headstand.

"What does that have to do with-?"

"He's got a point there…" said the angel Furby. Riku nodded and then shrugged his shoulders. He figured being bad for a bit wouldn't be totally damaging… Plus there was the added bonus of free candy. Oh, and saving Kairi from her fate would be good too.

"All righty, Ansem. I want to join the dark side."

"Perfect…"

XXXXX  
da marshmallow: Hi everybody!

everbody: Hi Dr. Marshmallow!

Yeah, I know I'm weird…I just couldn't resist. Sorry it took me a bit longer to update, but just to let you know I had a fun vacation in the midst of my not updating… : )

Anywhoo, first of all I'm gonna say a big thank you to my reviewers…so…THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH REVIEWERS! Y'all rock:D Oh, and if you're reading without reviewing I'd really like to hear from you…in a review…PLEASE? Plus a review from the people who have been reviewing would be nice too. : )

2nd of all…how'd you peeps like that chapter? Oh, and just so you know my dear dear "evil" twin blondie91 just so happened to be my inspiration for me to get to writing this…  
She said, "I can only be stupid for 10 minutes a day" and during those 10 minutes she gave me inspiration. : ) Welpers, so I don't bore you with my rambling I'll stop talking… REVIEW PLEASE!

God bless you and Jesus loves each and every one of y'all: )

**Disclaimer:** This is gonna be a long one… I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, McDonalds, Furbies, 7Up, Dr. Pepper, Whatever movie Arnold Schwarzenegger (I hope that's how you spell it cuz somehow Microsoft Word has that in it's dictionary…) says "I'll be back..." in; Oh, and I definitely do NOT own Arnold Schwarzenegger…I just love typing that : ), Uh…I don't own Aflac, the "Furby eating cheese" was inspired by the 6 foot maneating chicken I saw at Six Flags one time when I visited in the past, the shoulder angel scene came from "The Emperor's New Groove", I suppose I should include that I don't own the line of Shakespeare that I used…, Oompa Loompas, Superman & Batman + associated song/phrases that went along with them, and finally just to make sure I don't miss anything…I don't own anything that is OBVIOUSLY NOT mine. Told you it would be long…


	6. A New Name

**Chapter 6: A New Name**

"So does this mean I get a cool name, like Darth Vader?" inquired Riku.

"Darth Vader? That's too 'Star Wars'-ish…"

"How about the Muffin Man?" suggested a purple Furby that just so happened to be in the room at the time.

"The Muffin Man?" asked Ansem.

"The Muffin Man," confirmed the Furby.

"Hmmm…I think I like that name…The Muffin Man," said the Sith Lord.

"The Muffin Man?" asked Riku with a grimace on his face.

"The MUFFIN MAN!" exclaimed Ansem with exuberance. Riku groaned and repeatedly began to bang his head on the wall. "You don't like that? Well…umm…then here's an even better one! As my apprentice you shall be called…" A drum rolled across the floor and out of the room. "Darth Hamburglar!"

Riku was reluctant at first, but sighed and said, "Okay…I guess I'll go by that. Free candy is worth it…and saving Kairi." A pair of striped clothes as well as a blindfold landed in his hands.

"Great! Now, for your first mission as my apprentice…I want you to-." He was interrupted as Ronald came stumbling into the room with Ansem's dry cleaning.

He was gasping for air, "I…got your…dry cleaning, Master…!"

"Can't you see I'm busy? Go put it away!"

"Oh, and when are you gonna start helping me take over the worlds? So far I have McDonalds on every street corner in all the nearby worlds."

"Riku, I want you to go to Burger King and order a Big Mac. Kapish?"

"Uh…what's a kapish? And I thought it was McDonalds that-"

"Just do it. Do you understand?"

"Oh, uh, Ma'am, yes-err…Sir, yes Sir!"

"Good. Ronald, here is my new apprentice, Darth Hamburglar!"

"Wait…haven't I met you somewhere before?" asked Ronald.

Riku slapped his head, "I'm Riku."

"Just go check on our prisoner!" ordered Ansem. The clown trudged off.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sora groaned as he stood up. Lucky for him a group of Furbies had been transporting a trampoline and instead of landing on hard pavement he landed on that. However, he ended up bouncing up, hitting his head on the ceiling, and _then_ crashing onto the firm concrete. A bruise now served as a painful reminder that concrete isn't very soft…

The Jedi Master scoped out his surroundings, unsure of his whereabouts. Various Furbies bustled around; some doing dishes, others cleaning, and then a few just standing around trying to look busy. None of them seemed to pay any attention to the new comer. A group of young Furbies walked over to the dishwasher with a bound up Furby being towed on their heads.

"Help me!" yelled the Furby as they stashed him in the almost full dishwasher. Everyone seemed oblivious, so Sora just shrugged and started walking around.

Furbies gasped, "Intruder, intruder!"

"Shouldn't we do something about him?"

"Proba-…" The Furby that was speaking was interrupted by a loud horn. "Nevermind, it's break time! Cake anyone?" Sora shrugged and continued exploring. Ronald suddenly appeared and they both collided.

"Uh…excuse me!" exclaimed Sora as he darted out of sight. The fastest way off the world would be to not get captured for starters.

"No problemo," said Ronald who was completely unaware he'd just bumped into his enemy, and also the prisoner he was suppose to take care of. He whistled merrily as he strolled through the rooms.

Then suddenly a realization struck him, and the sound of a broken record was heard.

He realized that…he had just stepped in Furby poo.

He lifted up his big red shoe and grimaced in disgust as he tried to wipe it off.

"Do you have to go in the middle of the floor!" he shouted as he began shuffling across the floor to rid his foot of the mushy substance. As he dragged his feet, he passed a group of Furbies performing a small play. One Furby stood in a Lego castle tower, while two others stood at the bottom; one dressed as a prince and the other a noble steed.

"Furbunzel, Furbunzel, let down your fair hair so that I may climb to yon window and rescue you!"

"Sure." The so called Furbunzel began tugging at her wig, and as she attempted to throw it out the window she flew out in the process. "AHH!" Ronald rolled his eyes and continued onward.

"Where could Sora be? There's not very many places he could be hiding…"

"Has anyone seen Fuzzy?" asked a passing Furby and several snickers greeted the question.

Ronald trudged onward and passed the kitchens, where several Furbies were opening the dishwasher to unload it. He paused and took a look when he heard a whimper.

The Furby known as Fuzzy had been through an entire dishwashing cycle and now lay rigid, eyes wide open in a petrified gaze. Ronald sighed.

_Why in the world did I choose Furbies to help carry out my plan for world domination? _An idea suddenly hit Ronald in the head. A penguin had thrown a rock with those four letters at him, and now his head throbbed.

"Ow! Idea? Oh, I have an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?" He pulled a small flat screen out of his pocket and live images from inside of the Hollow Bastion center appeared. Sora was in the docking bay, making his way to a gummi ship…Ronald's gummi ship.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After Sora had gotten past Ronald, he'd had no trouble whatsoever. It was like they hadn't expected him to get out of the Furby corridors. He'd managed to find his way to the docking bay somehow, and was preparing to get away. There was nothing he could do for Riku now…the talk of the Furbies had been that he'd joined their side.

_Free candy is a pretty good deal…_Despite his candy cravings he jumped into a yellow and red gummi ship with the McDonalds "M" on it. The keys were still in the ignition, so he just turned them and the engine came to life. The floor disappeared beneath the ship and Sora took off into hyperspace.

**xxxxxxxxxx  
**I'm terribly sorry that this chapter took a bit long to update. I meant to get it done last weekend, but I had very little inspiration. It's a bit shorter than the other chapters, but the next chapter will probably be longer and hopefully make up for it. sniff one more week of freedom left before school… Oh well. Gotta go back eventually. Welpers, thank you all my wonderful reviewers: ) You guys make me happy. Comparing the amount reviews for this fic to the original…let's just say the original had 137 reviews for 12 chapters, so the low number of reviews I'm receiving for this fic is kinda saddening, but at least I'm getting some. I'd highly appreciate it if you would review: )

Oh and before I forget, I believe it was Jupiter who came up with "Darth Hamburglar"

God bless ya and Jesus loves you :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, McDonalds, Furbies, Rapunzel, the Muffin Man scene from Shrek which is what the intro to this chapter is based off of, Legos, and anything else I forgot to mention that I obviously don't own.


	7. Burger King

**Chapter 7: Burger King**

"999 bottles of nonalcoholic beverages on the wall; 999 bottles of nonalcoholic beverages! Take one down; pass it around…998 bottles of nonalcoholic beverages left on the wall…!" It had been five minutes since take off, and Sora had decided to start singing to pass the time it would take to get back to Twilight Town.

Somehow the one hour trip through hyperspace turned into a three hour trip, and as Sora landed the stolen gummiship, he finished singing, "1 bottle of a nonalcoholic beverage left on the wall; 1 bottle of a nonalcoholic beverage! Take one down; pass it around…There's no more bottles of nonalcoholic beverages left on the wall!" The trip had been somewhat lonesome without Riku…but Sora sighed in contentment and leaped out of the ship. Without paying attention he had landed on a sidewalk with Burger King and Jedi Headquarters located an equal distance away.

"Hmm…" he wondered aloud. "Should I go report to the Jedi Council or grab a bite to eat? The most reasonable choice would be to…get something to eat!" He strolled hungrily across street, and entered Burger King.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Riku departed from Hollow Bastion only five minutes after Sora left, unaware that his former Jedi Master was on the loose. The brand spankin' new gummi ship he was now the proud owner of glided smoothly through hyperspace.

"This is so much better than that old beat up hunk o' junk the Jedi provided me and ol' Sora with."

Twilight Town came into view within an hour and Riku began landing procedures.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Sora ordered a whopper and fries and while the lady retrieved those things he went to the drink machine. His choices were Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Sprite, Diet Dr. Pepper, and 7Up.

Besides the 7Up brand on the label it also read, "I wouldn't get this soda if I were you…" Sora ignored it, since that was the one soda he happened to be craving. He pressed his large cup to the ice and then moved it over to the 7Up button and pressed down. Nothing came out.

"That's what the warning was about?" asked Sora incredulously. He pressed it again, shrugged, and decided to get some Sprite instead. Before he could press the button there was a rumbling and suddenly a 7Up can flew out of no where and hit him on the back of his head. He looked around. He hadn't noticed before but the restaurant only had about five other people in it; not including the workers, but there was no indication of who had thrown the can. He shrugged and picked it up. At least he had gotten his drink…

The woman getting his food got his attention and handed him his food just as there was a rumbling in the ground. A 7Up machine suddenly burst through the doors, stopping only to let an old lady get past. Never thought you'd hear about a killer soda machine with manners, now did you?

Its engines revved as it fired cans at Sora, and the Jedi dived for cover. Sora looked for another shelter as the machine turned on him, and he was bombarded by cans. None of the customers or the employee at the front desk seemed to notice anything amiss.

_So THAT'S why it warned against getting 7Up…" _The Jedi pulled out his light saber stick from his belt, and clicked the on button. Nothing happened…

_Click! Click! Click! _Then Sora noticed the name engraved at the bottom… It was Riku's light saber stick. Of all the times to have a bad light saber…

Meanwhile, as Sora frantically ran from the 7Up machine; over tables, and all around, Riku walked through the door. He leisurely approached the front desk, feeling somewhat awkward.

"Welcome to Burger King. How may I help you?" asked the boy that was now there.

"Uh…can I get a Big Mac?"

The cashier eyed him like he was a weirdo, "Do you mean a Whopper?"

"No. I mean a Big Mac."

"Look, only Chuck Norris can order a Big Mac and get it here."

Riku was facing quite a dilemma, when suddenly someone yelled, "DUCK!" from behind him.

"Duck? Where's the duck?" asked Riku as he spun around. The teen was slammed in the face by a flying soda can. "Ow…"

"I warned you!" exclaimed Sora who hadn't realized who he was talking to. The Jedi Master and his former apprentice suddenly locked eyes.

"Sora…" spat Riku.

"Riku…" grumbled Sora.

"Sora…" spat Riku once more.

"Riku…" grumbled Sora again as well.

"Fuzzy!" exclaimed a Furby that hopped out of no where.

"I heard you joined the dark side…" said Sora.

"So what if I did?" Western shoot-out music played, and tumbleweed rolled by.

"So this is how it's gonna be huh?" The volume of the music softened.

"Yep." Sora had completely forgotten about the 7Up machine, and was suddenly taken by surprise as he was bombarded by cans. "AHHH!" The Jedi Master took off around the room. Riku cleared his throat and went back to the counter.

"May I PLEASE have a Big Mac?"

"N-err…let me go talk to…uh…my boss…" The kid turned and went to the back of the room. Riku sighed wondering why in tarnation Ansem sent him on a mission to get a Big Mac from Burger King…

The kid came back; a triumphant grin on his face. The sound of heavy footsteps was heard fast approaching and a guy dressed up in a Burger King costume came up to Riku.

"I hear you ordered a Big Mac…"

"Umm…yeah…"

"Only Chuck Norris can order one o' those and get it here."

"I've been informed."

"Who're ye workin' for?"

"The Sith Lord…"

"Who is in cahoots with that darned clown. Shoo! If'n ye want a Big Mac go to McDonalds!"

"Please?"

"Well, all right." He handed Riku a box.

Riku was unsure of what to say, "Oh…uh thanks…"  
"You might want to hurry though, before I sick the Coca Cola bear on you."

Sandy Shore went running through the restaurant chasing a polar bear that had something in its mouth.

"Give me back that plastic nose you fiend!" she yelled.

XXXXXXXXX  
I survived the first week of school, lol. : ) It's a good thing there's a weekend or else I never would've got anything typed. The teachers just decided to load me up with homework, and then of course I have cross country practice. Oh well, I'll get a break eventually. : ) I'm still very disappointed by the lack of reviews, but I won't let that get me down too much. If there's something I'm doing wrong please inform me, but don't flame. Thank you my reviewers! Y'all are great! Oh, and for those of you who never read the original "Sora vs. the 7Up Machine" you're probably wondering what the heck is that polar bear is doing with a nose. Well, in the original there were 2 news reporters before Sandy. The second one known as Aflac Duck got his nose ripped off, and Sandy is actually a substitute news reporter.

God bless and Jesus loves you:D

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, McDonalds, Burger King, all of the soft drinks mentioned, the Coca-Cola Bear, the "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall…" song which I based the song at the beginning off of, Uh…that Chuck Norris joke I used (I think those things are so weird, so I thought I'd fit one in…heh :D), Umm…and anything else I forgot to mention.


	8. Fast Forward to the Finale

**C****hapter 8: Fast Forward to the Finale**

As soon as Riku was gone, Burger King performed a roundhouse kick to the 7Up machine and knocked it out of commission.

"Ummm…thank you?" Sora said hesitantly.

"No problemo. Now meet me in my secret lair within the next five minutes."

"Where's your secret lair?"

"If'n I told ye, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, now would it?"

"I suppose not, but how am I supposed to find it?" The king of burgers had taken off, and disappeared before Sora even realized he was gone. He sighed. It was now time to find the secret lair. He searched under cabinets, and through doors and such, unheeded by the employees.

As the Jedi Master hunted for the entrance, he found a sign that read, "Entrance to Burger King's Super-Secret Lair! Shhhhhhhhhh…"

Sora shrugged as he walked on by it, and opened the top of a laundry shoot, that sat right next to it. Why there was a laundry shoot in the kitchen area of that particular Burger King…he had no earthly idea. He peeked down, and then decided to hop in. His rear met with a metal slide and he slid downwards around twists and turns with increasing velocity.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!!!" A peculiar scent filled his nostrils as he landed with a thud on some old mattresses in a puff of dust. He waved his hands around to fan out the dust and looked around. Sure enough, he had landed in a laboratory of some sort or another. Hopefully it was the right place. Organ music suddenly sounded, and with it the gross scent increased in strength. It was the kind of music you would normally find vampires or other creepy people playing. Simulated lightning flashed, lighting up a black cloaked figure.

Sora walked over to the organists and tapped him on the shoulder. The notes grounded to a screeching halt.

"Who dares to enter my laboratory?" boomed the Burger King.

"Uh…it's me Sora. You invited me here."

"Oh, right. Why didn't you just take the elevator?"

"I didn't-."

"No matter, we don't have time for this sort of matter. Cometh and join me as I show you exactly how we're going to defeat Ronald McDonald." He whistled and several pairs of glowing eyes peered out of the shadows.

"Umm…who do those belong to?"

"You'll see…" And with that, the Burger King disappeared into the shadows. Sora peered around the dark room, and then spotted a big red button that said, "Do NOT press!"

The glowing eyes in the shadows blinked as Sora walked over to the button, apparently mesmerized as he said, "Hmm…wonder what this doohickey does." He raised his pointer finger and held it over the glowing red button that began to pulse as he made contact. The Burger King was heard running towards him.

"DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON! CAN'T YOU READ?" Too late…Sora pressed down the button and for a moment everything froze. Then, everyone was jerked forward as time was fast forwarded.

------ Fast forwarding------Fast forwarding------Fast forwarding------

"Sorayouidiotpressthebuttonagain!"

"IthoughtIwasn'tsupposedtopressit!"

"PRESSITAGAINYOUMORON!!!" Sora slammed his finger down on the red button, and everything slammed to a screeching halt. Sora was thrown backwards into the wall, although when he landed he was in a volcano filled with 7up lava and Riku was facing him. He stood up very disoriented.

"What happened?"

A Furby popped up out of no where, "You hit the fast forward button so you skipped several parts of the story and now we're in one of the last scenes."

"Oh…makes sense."

The Burger King was sitting on a rock and grumbled, "I didn't even get to unveil my secret weapon…"

"Prepare to meet your doom, Sora!" exclaimed Riku.

"Give me a sec, I'm a bit dizzy over here."

Riku looked at his watch, "Time's up! Let's fight!" Sora rolled his eyes and drew his light saber.

"Why did you do it, Riku? WHYYYY?"

"To save Kairi! Plus he offered me free candy…can't beat that."

"Oh, well do you want some gum?"

"Sure." Sora handed him a punch-out pack of gum, and when Riku managed to punch out a piece of gum it shot up and hit him in the eye.

"OOOOWWW!!! You knew that was going to happen!" Riku turned his back with a pout on his face.

"Sheesh, you don't have to give me the cold shoulder…" mumbled Sora. Riku looked at his right shoulder which suddenly had gotten really cold to find it covered in ice.

"That's kind of weird…"

A Furby flipped in to the scene, "Ahem, you are supposed to be fighting to the death here."

"Almost forgot!" Sora exclaimed, and the battle continued.

They slashed madly at each other, each trying to strike the other. Suddenly, Sora found an opening and plunged his light saber at Riku's stomach. However, instead of puncturing him, a black patch appeared that said "K+."

"What the-?" asked Sora.

"I guess the K+ rating doesn't allow that much blood and gore," suggested Riku.

"Then how is someone supposed to win?"

"Uhhh…PAPER, SCISSORS, ROCK!" They both instantaneously dropped their light sabers and began beating their clenched fist on their open hands.

They chanted, "Paper, scissors, rock-show me what ya got!"

"HAHA! Rock beats scissors!" shouted Sora victoriously. He pounded Riku's scissor shaped hand.

"Best two out of three!" They repeated the process once more, and Sora once again picked rock while Riku picked scissors.

Riku's voice went into agonizingly slow motion as he clutched his chest, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He backed away from Sora and fell to the ground.

"Well, umm…bye…uh Riku." Sora trotted off and blasted into hyperspace in his gummi ship.

5 minutes later

Ansem kicked Riku in the side. "Get up, you're not dead!"

"I'm not?"

"Obviously…although we had to um…make some changes."

"WHAT?" Riku looked down his body to find that he was wearing a muffin costume. "WHY?"

"You were dying Riku…" sniffed Ronald. "It was-was the only way to save you!"

"But I wasn't even dying. That was for dramatic effect!"

"I was kidding. Now you truly are the Darth Muffin Man." Riku took a bite of his costume.

"Mmmm…blueberry."

"Take this cool voice changer thing too."

XxXxXxXxXx

Kairi lay in her bed, squirming as nightmares plagued her mind. When suddenly…ever so suddenly…

"AFLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!"

Sora burst into the room, "Kairi…! Oh no, I was too late! You've already…already turned into a-a duck..."

"Huh?" Kairi jumped out of bed, startled by the crazed Aflac duck running around her room in circles.

Sora's jaw dropped. "I thought you were supposed to change into something."

"Umm…Well, I guess I 'changed' into a seventeen-year-old seeing how it's my birthday today…Is there a problem with that?"

"No…none at all. Continue sleeping. I'll just take the duck and go…Sorry."

Sora left the room and yanked out his cell phone. He punched in Riku's number and listened to it ring.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Riku's breathing was heard as the cool voice changing machine clicked on.

"Do You Know the Muffin Man?" started playing from some random place.

"Hey, that's my cellphone! Where is it?" He hastily reached into the pockets of his muffin costume and came up with his jet black cellular device.

"Hello Clarise…"

"Who's Clarise?" came Sora's voice.

"Nevermind. What's wrong now? Can't you tell that I'm busy?"

"What's up with your voice? I think I've heard it somewhere before…"

"That doesn't matter!" exclaimed Riku in a deep voice.

"Oh, well…I just wanted to double check-I thought you said Kairi was going to change into something! She's perfectly fine, and just so you know today's her seventeenth birthday!"

"I guess I was just hungry then…Every time I had the dream I didn't have dinner before I went to bed. Maybe THAT'S why she turned into a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza…"

"You're an idiot…" CLICK! The line went dead and Riku flipped his phone closed.

Sandy Shore appeared out of no where, "Well, Riku is there anything you want to say to wrap up this fic? I've brought a special guest with me. Meet Tiny Timmy!" Applause roared as Tiny Timmy walked up next to Riku.

"Actually…Yes there is something I would like to say…to him." In his Darth Vader voice Riku took a few breaths and then spoke, "Timmy…I am not your father."

The sound of crickets chirping is heard in the background.

"I was brought halfway across the universe just so you could tell me that you're NOT my father?!"

"I'm really not…" A 7-Up machine came charging through a cardboard wall and launching a bombardment of cans, causing everyone to scatter.

"Well folks, there you have it! This is Sandy Shore reporting live for Channel 100,200,725,534,777,123 and we are outta here!"

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, 7-Up, the song: "Do You Know the Muffin Man?", uh…let's see what else? Aflac, Burger King, that cold shoulder thing I got from Fairly Odd Parents (greatest cartoon ever!), and anything else that's kind of a duh that I don't own and forgot to mention in this here disclaimer doohickey. : )

Well, I hope everyone liked this final chapter. I know it took forever and it kind of brought the story to an unexpected halt, but I figured it would be best to wrap it up and I found that I actually had time and inspiration now that school's out. Who would've thunk my school year would be so crazy. A review would be highly appreciated, and thanks for r & r'ing! Have an awesome summer and God bless!

-da marshmallow


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